Friday, June 10, 2011
Twenty seven years have come and gone.
I really thought I would have accomplished so much more by now. I feel blessed to have a wonderful husband , and two loving daughters, but still something is missing.
I want stability! I want my girls to see me as a success. I know 27 does not seem that old, but to me it feels like forever at this moment. My birthday passed like any other day with no special feelings. Yet today I feel as if something has changed. I want to be more! I want to live out my dreams. The dreams I’ve had since I was a child. The dreams God put on my heart, which got tossed aside as I got older. I want to be a published writer. I’ve always wanted to do that. I want to have a house, and not live in an apartment having to move every two years, because rent goes up so high. I want to give my girls a better life. I would love to have animals like I had growing up. Chickens,goats, rabbits and a pot belly pig! These are all the things that I miss so badly now as an adult. People come into this country with nothing, and start a business, make money and hire me to work for them! Now why can’t I do that? It frustrates me that I try so hard and get nowhere.
Twenty seven years and I feel as if I have missed something? Almost like I got left behind! I love my life, and everything God has given me, but why at this moment do I feel sad? Is it normal to feel like the days are fading together? Is it the lack of sleep from the baby who keeps me up? Whatever the cause, I give my dreams to you Lord. I am reopening that closed door to my childhood and taking the dreams I once had, and making them a reality. Not for money, but for pleasure. Happy Birthday to me~ With Many years to come!