Have you ever just stopped long enough to take a look at your life, the before, and the after? The other day I watched a video that took me back to a time in my past that was very unhappy for me. It made me look at my life now, and made me so thankful that I chose the right path, and did not continue to follow the wrong one. When we are young, we all have to make mistakes. It’s what makes us who we are as adults. I dated a guy when I was a teenager who was not Mr. Perfect to say the least. I went through some very hard times back then, and suffered great pain because of it. The sad part is I stayed for 3 years, and felt I deserved the punishment. As I am now an adult, wife, mother of 2 girls, I look at my past, and thank God for helping me see the light. For not letting me fall into the gap that has so many trapped. I look at the blessings I have now. I have my loving husband who would never raise his hand to me, my 2 daughters who are so loving and smart. I have my mother who is my best friend, and prayer partner. I have my friends who have always been there to support me no matter how much they disagreed with my decisions. And above all, I have always had God guiding me, walking me through the darkness. Shining his everlasting light when I felt there was none. If I would not have gone through the tough times, then I would never know how wonderful of a life I have now. Sometimes you have to go through HELL to get to HEAVEN!
Thank you Lord for all your blessings! Thank you for keeping me safe when fear surrounded me, and for giving me the strength to walk away and start a new life. You are my all, and I give you all the glory. If you are going through tough times, there is always a way out. Do not let fear over power you. You know what is best for you, and sometimes “love” can be misleading. Listen to God and you will forever be happy!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
My daughter is 3 years old, and every night I read her a story, sing her a song, and we say our prayers. Last night she shocked me, while I was reading about a squirrel she said "Ouch" and started rubbing her head. I said "What's wrong"? She proceeds to tell me that the squirrel threw an acorn at her head. I started laughing. Then she continues to tell me a story. I got lost in the forest, and she was looking for me. It was the cutest little story, and she just made it up. She was getting into it and making faces as she was telling me about all the animals we encountered. I was so impressed by her imagination. I could not get over how she was really into the story. Even after I finished reading the book, she wanted to continue her story. I did not want her to stop because it was so adorable, but it was past her bed time, so I finally had to tell her to dream about it, and tell me what happened in the morning. I could not get over how into the story she got. Everyday she amazes me.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Last night I had my very first “nine months” moment. If you have never watched the movie nine months you really should, because it is funny, and if you are pregnant you will be able to understand everything she is going through. Well to get a bit personal, last night my dear husband and I were playing around, when all of a sudden the baby starts kicking me. I tried to ignore it, but since we were still in the playful stages I decided to just lay his hand on my belly, Sasha started kicking his hand hard. I had to laugh, and my hubby just looked at me all weird. I said “Well she was kicking me, and I could not concentrate, so maybe we can just lay here and feel her kick”! He says “Yeah that’s just as good”, a line right out of the movie Nine Months. So funny, and needless to say it ruined the mood. She is already interrupting and she is not even born yet. A sure sign of what’s to come.
Monday, March 1, 2010
What is it about being pregnant that makes me want a new pet? The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Keira. I wanted a dog, so we got Jovie. Now it is happening again. I want a chinchilla and a puppy. What is the matter with me? Is it not enough that I will have a new born to hold and take of in three months? Why is it that I want more responsibility? I have to ask, has anyone else gone through this? I spent some time with my friends Pug yesterday, and now all I can think about is getting a Pug? Someone give me some piece of mind here!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Little things can mean so much to me. Today is Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love. There are so many things my husband does for me that I love so much, and if he were to stop, I would really miss them. For instance, no matter what he is doing (other than when he is playing a video game) lol, if I walk by him, he will always touch me. On the arm, on the butt, on the tummy, whatever he can reach, he touches. I love that. When we have company over and we are entertaining and not talking to each other very much, he will be sure to make eye contact with me throughout the night, and give me a cute wink, just so I know he is thinking of me. I just wanted to take a moment to let him know how much I appreciate his affection. Not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day we are together. I love spending time with him and could not imagine my life without him in it. He is the father of my children, and the protector of my heart. The only one I dream of, and want to lie beside at night. He truly is my soul mate. Today we actually bought our first official bed as a married couple, and I am so excited to get it on Friday. What a wonderful Valentine’s Day this has been. One I will never forget! Thanks for being my one and only baby! I truly love you with all my heart and soul and as Tom cruise said “You complete me”!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Here I am sitting on the couch sharing snacks with my 3 year old daughter, and she is being so sweet. She gives me one, then eats one her self. I can not get over how big she is getting. She is going to make a great big sister. She loves to help me. Everything I do, I do for her. It's like when you have a child, you are no longer you, it becomes us. I love being able to watch her learn and grow. She amazes me everyday with something new. A new word, a new expression, or just a cute little flip of her hair. I can not believe she is really mine. What a blessed life I have now that she has arrived in it. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital? How can she be 3 already? WOW!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
We live our whole lives in a daze, programmed to never see anything but what's in front of us. Lately I have been wondering what would happen if I changed my mind set. I fear a lot of things. One big thing is change. My husband and I are stuck in the mindset of, in order to get a head we have to start a business. However I am finding that no matter how many businesses we try to start, without the right mindset they all fall! As a freelance writer, I am trying to branch out and do things I may not have thought of before. I was raised to sit on my money, put it in savings, or hold on to it for a rainy day, but that never gives me more then what I started with. I have to learn to give in to change and take some risk in order to change our situation. Otherwise we will stay right where we are, never getting ahead in life. My parents were middle class, as were my husbands, and we are taught to live that way. I want to be the one that changes that pattern for my kids. I am determined to be a success, and if that means I have to learn the investing market, then so be it!
I am tired of living in my parents shadow and not getting ahead. I want a nice home that I own, and not have to rent anymore. I want a big yard where my kids can play with the dogs. I would like to have my own vehicle that runs and is actually new, and above all I want the financial freedom to give my kids the things I never had.
It can happen right? As of this moment I am going to change my mindset from a poor brain to a rich one. Not sure how yet, but no longer will I fear money or hate it, or horde it away to never be touched. I have to let go of all those fears in order to have a better life!
I can do this! I know I can! I want to make something of myself, and prove this country girl can change her stars!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I have always been the kind of person to do the right thing, because if I don't everything in my life falls apart. I don't know why this happens to me, but I know right away if I am not traveling the right path for my life. Recently I made some decisions to try and make money. I learned very quickly to never do anything just for money. Weird things started happening in the house, and I felt horrible. As soon as I stopped going forward with my project, everything calmed down. I truly believe in energy surrounding us and God's signs. We just have to look for them. My life is back on track, and I got a new job offer for my writing. Just goes to show if you stay on the right path, doors will open and eventually money will follow. I listen to real radio and there is a guy who is called Eddie the Shaman. Sometimes he sounds crazy but after experiencing the effects of a bad choice, I will be listening to him more often. He says our house speaks to us. Freaky? Maybe, but it's true. Our energy lives within our home, so when we try to do things for the wrong reasons we feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Listen to your surroundings, they may be telling you more then you think!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I don't know why, but when you are pregnant it seems your dreams get weirder and weirder! Just last night I had a dream that I was being chased by a gang of three eyed monster babies. Oh, and I can't forget all the dreams of my baby coming out deformed, or looking like an alien. Sometimes my dreams just go all over the place, like I'll be at home, then all of a sudden floating in the sky flying or something crazy. Maybe it's because of all the hormones? Who knows why when you’re pregnant your dreams go crazy, but all I know is I could write some really weird Sci-Fi stories with the stuff my mind comes up with.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I have not been blogging lately. Ever since I found out I was pregnant again, I have been neglecting my post. I can not believe I am almost 6 months pregnant. We are having another girl. This is going to be our last child. Johnny and I have decided 2 kids is all we can handle ha-ha.
Just wanted to get back into the swing of things and start posting again.