Friday, December 26, 2014

Lazy Day!

Some days it's nice to just relax

I get to sit around and eat snacks

It's so very nice to take a little break

Getting to spend time away from all the fake

It's like the world is full of so much noise

Feels nice to sit with my girls and play with toys

Watching movies with them all day long

Feeling like nothing in my day could go wrong

I'm still wearing my night time clothes

Did not even bother to change my pose

Today was what I call a lazy day

Right here on the coach is where I'll stay!

by: Sheena Diane

Monday, June 16, 2014

Who is that fat lady living inside my body?

Here I am a 30 year old mother, wife, and teacher, yet until today I didn't realize how long it had been since I looked at myself in a full length mirror.

I knew I was gaining weight. I could feel my legs growing wider, and my butt getting bigger. I could see my tummy getting more flabby, but it's almost like I ignored it. Or as if I still saw myself as that teenage girl that weighted 116 pounds. I guess you could say I was wearing rose glasses.

Why not eat what I want? I work hard and I deserve it. I should not have to say no to that donut, or cake. I'm an adult so I can have that second helping of ice cream or skip lunch and have a muffin. Why not? I burn all of those calories chasing around 4 and 5 year old's all day anyway, so what's another slice of pizza? That's rational right? This is how I think daily. I spend time doing up my face with makeup, and making sure my eye brows are plucked, but I never stop to look at my torso. I make sure my clothes match and never pay attention to the every growing lady living in my body.

Today was a normal day. Went to work to be with the awesome kids I've grown to love at school. I ate the normal lunch provided, and came home to be with my own 2 daughters ages 7 and 4. Today we went outside to play with our new puppy before it got dark and my oldest daughter asked if she could take a picture of me and our puppy Falkor with my phone. I handed her my phone and I sat holding our 'not so small' Labrador Retriever pup. I didn't look at the picture until after I put them to bed, and when I did, I almost didn't recognize myself! It's not like I don't have any recent pictures, I do. Mostly selfies that are not bad, and defiantly don't look like the girl in the picture my daughter took! This woman had huge legs, and really big arms. Even her face looked swollen. Is that how I really look? Why would this be surprising to the person wearing the body?

Denial, is the answer. I have to be in denial. Now you are probably thinking, I'm depressed and unhappy and so I eat. That is untrue for me. I am very happy. I love my husband and have my dream job. I have all the things I wanted for myself when I look back. I eat because I want to. I eat because I love food, and I eat because WHY NOT? I am content with my life!

Well I am going to get personal, more personal than I've ever been even with myself. This is going to be my motivation to lose weight, to get healthy and to make a serious change!

I am going to post the most vulnerable and disgusting side of me that I've ever seen. However I need to look at it, I need to see what I've let myself become, and I need to reach a goal so I can post new photos of my success!

Tomorrow my life changes. I'll start with being conscience of everything I put in my mouth. My morning coffee will be switched to unsweet brewed tea, and the sweet pastries I love to eat with my morning coffee will now be an afterthought. I have got to make a change, I'm worth it!

This is not an easy thing for me, I cringe just thinking that I am about to show you the worst side of me! Here goes nothing.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Touching up your Henna hair.

Touch up your Henna hair

Hello everyone,
today I wanted to share the video I just made referring to a question I got about root touch ups with Henna. The question was, do I redo the entire head when it's time for touching up the roots, or only do the roots.
I don't think there is a wrong answer to this, but I personally do my entire head again.
Henna tends to get darker the more you dye it, but I love the brighter look it gives, so I redye my entire head. Plus I find it easier than having to try and not get henna on the rest of my hair.

I am also going to give you my process on how I get my desired color.

1. I buy pure 100% Henna. Lately I've been using Henna Maiden: Natural Red sold by Henna King on Amazon.

2. I have medium length hair so I only need 1 bag to cover my entire head. I open the package, and pour it into a glass bowl. Glass does not stain and is much easier to clean.

3. I pour lemon juice into the Henna powder. I am not sure the exact amount I use. I eye ball it until it's the consistency of pudding.

4. I cover the bowl with aluminum foil, then store it on a shelf in a dark, cool area for anywhere between 12 to 24 hours.

5. The next day I uncover it, stir it, and add a little water because at this point it's very thick. However this last time instead of adding water, I added some cranberry juice. It helped with the Henna dirt smell and added some more red coloring.

6. Once your Henna is the consistency of mashed potatoes, it's ready to be applied.

7. This is all personal preference, but I like to apply my Henna on unwashed hair. I have natural oily hair, so having my hair a little oily helps make it easier to apply the mud.

10. Once you get all the Henna on your hair, you put a plastic bag or hair cap on your hair.

11. I let my Henna sit in my hair between 3 and 5 hours depending on how dark I want it. The longer you leave it, the darker it will get.

12. After 3 hours, I get in the shower and rinse all the Henna out with luke warm water. Then after I don't feel the slimy mud anymore I use my regular shampoo to get the rest out. After the water runs clear I also use conditioner.

13. I always blow dry my hair, because I don't want any bleeding red to get on my clothes or pillows.

14. Enjoy your fresh Henna look!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Turning 30 June 8th!

In less than a month I will be turning 30~

For a lot of people it was an exciting time. Growing out of the young life and moving into the adult more mature one. However for me I'm having a really hard time with it.

My husband seems to think I'm being silly (age is just a number) and won't really take the time to really let me spill the huge amount of emotions I'm having about all this.

Going along with getting older, I'm starting to feel my age. My vision is beginning to get blurry. I've always had 20/20 vision but now I have to really focus to see what time it is on our stove clock. It's getting harder to lose weight. I used to stop eating sweets for a few weeks and I'd weigh less, now if I stop eating the bad stuff, it just gives me a killer headache and I can't seem to concentrate.

Let's go even deeper (pun intended) and talk about sex drive! OMG! Okay, so is this something that happens to all women turning 30 or just me? I researched it and it turns out after you turn 30 your biological clock starts ticking because you only have so many years that you can get pregnant once your 30. Also you stop producing eggs, and that causes your body to want you to get pregnant as soon as possible. That explains the increased feelings I guess!

My emotions are all over the place. I'm beginning to feel like I need to do more with my life or that maybe I'm not in the right place. Maybe I made the wrong choices, and I only have a limited number of years to fix them.

Being 30 is supposed to be the prime of a woman's life. It's the most beautiful she will ever be, the most alive, and the peak of her sex drive. On my end, I'm heavier now than I ever have been, I feel like pooh all the time, because of my bad eating habits, and I can't seem to get my husband to understand just how much I need compassion and not arguments. I feel ugly, I've got hair in places that I'm not supposed to, and I sure enough do not feel at all like I'm at my prime!

I can't seem to let go of my 20's. I had an awesome upbringing and childhood. I have the most amazing friends whom are still my besties even to this day and our kids love each other just like cousins! High school was the time of my life. The time that I shined brightest, and the time when I felt more alive and myself. I guess having such a great time as a teen makes it pretty hard to say goodbye to my 20's. Turning 26 was hard enough because I was past the 1/2 point to 30... Here it is and I'm almost 30.......

I am also noticing how badly I want another baby. No let me rewrite that! I don't want another baby. I don't want the 9 months cramps, and all that comes with it, and I don't actually want another baby. We just don't have the space, time or money for that... However my body, oh my body wants a baby... So much so that I had to go get myself a puppy. Yes it's actually tricked my body into thinking I have a baby, because I'm in mommy mode. Getting up all night, hearing every whimper or cry. I have that need to nurture, care, and love! Maybe it's how God made me, but my body goes through this mommy faze and I can't fight it. However I've never felt it as strong as these past few months!

Does 30 equal a midlife crises? I find myself rethinking my way of life. Rethinking if I am with the right man, or if I really need a man in general. Don't get me wrong I love my husband. This post is by no means saying I have a horrible life, or a bad husband. It's just the thoughts going through my head right now. Right or wrong! Emotions, hormones, or actual feelings? I don't know, that's why I'm writing them.

I just don't know! I'm so confused and not happy with how I feel, and look at this point in my life. If anything turning 30 should make me want to renew myself! Makes me want to better my living, and find a new way of life. I just can't seem to want to do anything :(!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Shroud of Turin

Easter has just passed, and as a result I've really been filling up my days with scripture and digging deep into all things Jesus.

One thing that has always fascinated me was the Shroud of Turin. It's one of those marvelous things that we may never know if it's truly our Jesus but to me it's something left behind to give us hope, and keep us believing. Tonight I listened to a very interesting podcast about the Shroud and I will post it here for those who want to listen.

After listening to the podcast and Googling the images of the shroud again, another image popped into my head. At the beginning of this month as I was studying online about Jesus, I came across a website for an amazing artist. She is a child prodigy and is known for her incredibly detailed paintings of Jesus. I loved her 'Prince of Peace' painting so much that I used it as my screen saver on my computer. Her name is Akiana. Here is a link to her site.

Okay so as I am picturing the imprinted image of Jesus on this shroud, I am also picturing the image that Akiana painted. So that made me curious. Scientist whom analyzed this cloth Jesus was wrapped in also developed images of what the face of the man wrapped in this cloth would look like. Here is what they believe that man would look like, and then take a look at Akiana painting of Jesus... I tell you honestly I have chills!

This makes me feel that the shroud was wrapped around my Jesus. That when he was resurrected on that third day, that his image was forever stained into the cloth for all of us to witness the miracle that happened on that day. So that so many centuries later you and I could see it, and believe. Jesus is alive, he has risen and he existed! He walked the earth as the bible describes and yes he did die for our sins, but was brought back to life to fulfill all the prophecies.
How amazing! Today his image still remains in this shroud and no one can describe how!

Here is what the full Shroud of Turin looks like. It has the front image on the cloth as well as the back image.

This is so amazing to me. It makes me love him even more to know he left something for all of us to see and know he is alive!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Freelance writing website???

I was using a free hosting site where I had my website However that free site crashed and so did all my links for everything I published, all the websites I wrote content for, and all the blogs I wrote for :(. I don't think I'm going to start up another website because I do have my Facebook Page as well as this blog. I'm just not sure if I'm going to be able to find all the links to where my writings are published. Some were to a locked blog and I only had access to my article with the link, now that's it gone, I'm really not sure how I can get it back...

I guess I'll have to start from scratch. I do have a link to the site where I got published in a book! If you'd like to read my article it will be at the link below, and if you'd like to purchase the book, you can do so on Amazon It's called "Open To Hope". It's about how people deal with death with God's help.

Hearing the voice of my father: By Sheena Matos

2014 is here!

I really can't believe how quickly 2013 went by! We had a lot of wonderful things happen last year. We became home owners and got to build our house! I got a promotion at my job. Johnny is learning a trade as a low voltage electrician. Keira went to home school for 1/2 the year after not doing so good in Kindergarten, then in 2013 she was able to go to the school I work for and is in 1st grade. She is doing so much better now. Sasha is also able to go to PreK 3, and I actually work in her class so that's a blessing!

Johnny returned to church, that has been the biggest and greatest change in the Matos house! A family who prays together, stays together!!
At the beginning of the year we found out we were pregnant with #3 but shortly after lost it :(. After that experience we have decided we are completely satisfied with the 2 wonderful girls we have, and don't want to tempt fate on trying for another baby.

We had the best Christmas ever this year! Lots of gifts, family, fun, food, and love! Plus we got to have Christmas in our new house... I can't recall all the big and small things that has happened this past year, but there was a lot of good stuff in there, and many blessings. God never stops amazing me... I know 2014 will only get better!